Blue Feathers
by poplarleaves
Summary: Caught between a long-promised date with Misty and the Gemstone Tournament, Ash chooses Pokemon over his girl. His mistake proves to be nearly fatal to everything that matters: his dreams, his heart, and his love. The extended version of Memory.
1. Rip

**_Rip_**

"Why can't you stay?" a female voice shouted.

"I can't miss this!"

Something crashed to the floor. A yellow rodent with red cheeks backed out of the room as the voices continued shouting.

"Now look what you've done! You always mess everything up!" The feminine voice grew into an angry shriek. "You promised me so... many... times!"

_Smack!_

Ash reeled back, holding the side of his face in horror. Misty stood there, her face flushed deeper than her scarlet hair, azure eyes wet with tears.

Ash spoke. "Misty, I-I have to. I've waited my whole life--"

"How many times have you said that? You always go to one of these tournaments, battling, making your Pokemon beat up other Pokemon... You won't be greatest forever, Ash, you know that? Sooner or later--"

"Misty!"

"You always do this to me, you always-- always-- leave me!" Her voice rose to fever pitch while the yellow-furred Pokemon, the Pikachu, emitted a small spark in its anxiety. It watched, wide-eyed. Ash had made Misty angry again, and neither he nor Pikachu knew how to calm her. She slapped him with each word she spoke as he watched helplessly.

"This is our day! You promised so long ago... so many _times_!" With a sharp push, she wrenched herself away from him and ran. Ash stumbled back. He listened, his heart heavy with something like regret and confusion as Misty's footsteps faded down the hall, and the slam of a door and the groan of a car greeted his fears. Pikachu gazed at him until he turned and looked back at it. With difficulty he swallowed and spoke. "Are you ready for the Gemstone Tournament, Pikachu?" His voice cracked, and he sat-- no, fell-- onto a chair, hiding his tear-streaked face from the Pokemon as he collapsed into grief.


	2. Scatter

**_Scatter_**

Misty ran to the gym, her beloved place of quiet and peace save for the times that her sisters held water shows there. Her Water Pokemon swam, floated, or splashed happily in the blue-tinted pool, set like a living aquamarine stone in the Pokemon gym's central battleground. Fleeing from her thoughts, Misty dove into the pool fully clothed, her hair floating around her face like so many orange-red tentacles. Startled but delighted, her Pokemon swam over to greet her. Misty broke the surface of the water with a Staryu under one arm and her Horsea under the other. As soon as she had gained more air, she dove down once more. She was, she thought wryly, literally drowning her sorrows.

Slowly, she let a bubble escape from her lips and watched it float, pulsing gently, to the light and warmth where it would scatter into nothingness. Misty felt herself relax into the rippling shadows of the water, and she dove deeper, her sure strokes carrying her swiftly to the other end of the pool. Water enveloped her in its cool, unchanging, ever-changing embrace. As always, Misty marveled at its perfection, the fluid, emotionless joy that could not be grasped, sustaining all life and yet deadly if inhaled. One breath and she could be free forever. She stopped in puzzlement, frowning a little. Free from what? Life?

Free from pain, she thought. Free from grief and sorrow, guilt and regret and hurt. How she longed for it. Misty reached out into the sapphire depths, feeling small currents of water swirl into the spaces left by her hands, as if caressing her. Calm descended on her being, more tangible than the fluid surrounding her. No. She could live with the pain. She wouldn't let anyone down. Her hand clenched into a fist, and she felt the momentary rush of water into its place. Then she struck for the surface.

Misty gasped for air, emerging from the pool dripping wet, hair and clothes plastered to her body in a tight-fitting mass. She walked to a smaller pool that held a cage hanging half-in and half-out of the water, its perimeter allowing several feet of space between it and the edge of the pool. A giant blue serpent, its jaw hanging wide, stirred in the cage. Light from the skylight made its blue scales flash, even as it made no sound.

"Hi, Gyarados." Misty sat on the edge of the pool, shivering a bit. The cold stone floor grew spots of water when she moved. "How're you today?"

Gyarados gave an answering growl, and the white ridges on its back bristled. Misty smiled.

"Yeah, same with me." Her eyes became moist for one second, but she wiped it away. Gyarados still watched with unblinking eyes. It was a while before Misty spoke again, bitterness in her voice.

"I wish he wouldn't go. I wish he didn't do this to me. Every time, every time he promises that he'll take me somewhere-- I believe him. It's not hard to believe him when he's smiling at you and holding you and-- and he gives you that look..." She trailed off, aware of the Gyarados' agitation. "You want out, don't you? Ever since I caught you... I wonder if you like me at all." She watched, still as a frozen lake, as the creature rammed against the metal bars of its cage. The surface of the bars was scratched from endless repetitions of Gyarados' attacks. From the edge of the pool, Misty could see the crippled tail and fins of the Pokemon. If she had a choice, she would have set the beast free, but as it was, Gyarados would be unable to survive in the wild. Some horrible incident had occurred, crippling it for life. It glared at her through the scarred bars, roaring its defiance.

"You want to be free. I know, I know!" Misty cried out, as another round of ramming began and the cage creaked and rattled threateningly. The Pokemon stopped to stare at the girl again, its giant jaws open and panting. "Sometimes I feel the same way," the girl continued. "I feel like he's caught me, and I can't break free. Like he's put me in a cage."

Still panting, the creature bashed itself on the wet bars. A worried look came over Misty. "Don't do that. You'll only hurt yourself." Gyarados gave no sign of having understood her, only staring and roaring, its hot breath pouring over her from just a few feet away. It wanted out. Furthermore, it wanted the girl to be hurt for what she had done to it, and it wanted to do the hurting. One more time, it slammed its scaly body against the cage.

"Stop it! Don't you know that I caught you to keep you alive? Don't you know that you would be dead if you tried to live one day in the wild? I don't want you to get hurt!"

"GROOAHR!" was the Gyarados' response. Now it was Misty who watched as it flailed madly one last time, sending up frothing waves that washed over Misty's legs. She scrambled to her feet, unable to look away, watching in horror as the thing rammed one last time and the cage collapsed. It screamed, broken cage crashing down on it, around it, screaming and thrashing free of the debris that sank into the roiling water. It rose, dripping and maddened with pain, and it struck out. Even when terrified, Misty pulled her senses together and backed to the wall, where the reach of the Gyarados' ten-foot tail did not extend. The next pool, however, was not as fortunate. Pokemon were flung out of the water onto the stone floor, where the finned ones wriggled or flopped helplessly. Psyducks, waddling and quacking pitifully, scurried in terror, shooting weak attacks everywhere. The cries of the Pokemon echoed relentlessly through the cavernous gym, burning into Misty's head. She knew that she needed help, but she couldn't look away, so her hand groped along the wall desperately, found the emergency lever and pulled it with every ounce of her strength. Immediately lights flashed and alarms blared, sending the Pokemon into worse panic. The ones that lay helpless on the floor tried to wriggle back into the water, and one of the Psyducks evolved in its terror. Before Misty's astonished eyes, the new Golduck screeched at Gyarados and sent a powerful Hydro Pump attack hurtling toward its adversary. The blast of water struck the mad beast directly, and it reeled back. Water, however, is not very effective against Water, and the Gyarados was much more experienced than the newly evolved Golduck. It sent back its tail, cruelly ridged, striking the blue-skinned Water Pokemon. Golduck was flung back to the wall, where it struggled to its feet, staggered forward, and gave Gyarados another Hydro Pump from its bill. Again it was knocked against the wall. Golduck quacked loudly in consternation and stood up again, swaying in its exhaustion. Its webbed limbs, unused to battle, threatened to give way beneath it. Misty could see that it would not survive another attack from Gyarados if it went on. Desperately, she flung herself on the Pokemon just as it released another attack, its body and eyes glowing red, Misty saw it was using Amnesia it stared at her the world spun and went dark

* * *

Sorry about the delay in uploading; my PDA was confiscated at school, and I didn't have a chance to sync it with the computer. I've finished all seven chapters and plan to let my two beta readers look over it for ways to make it flow better. I'm thinking about an epilogue, but I don't think I should...


	3. Fall

**_Fall_**

Ash competed in Pokemon battling tournaments of all kinds, where Pokemon trainers and their Pokemon tested their skills against others with the same ambitions. When Ash had come along, the rookie had blown away the rest of the competition with his tactics and sheer power, winning the title of Champion for three years running.

He felt that he needed that power now, as he sat in the lavishly decorated front lobby of the Evergrande City Pokemon League. Over the years, the building had been enlarged, rebuilt, and made over multiple times, until even Ash's friend, May, was disgusted at the vulgarity of the place.

"I don't see why they wanted to make it 'better'. It was fine as it was: plain, relaxing, comfortable. This--" May squirmed against the hard backing of her chair, "is not comfortable."

Drew, a green-haired Pokemon Coordinator and May's rival-slash-boyfriend, chuckled softly. "Want to sit on my lap?"

"Drew!" May whispered fiercely in reprimand, though with an irrepressible smile. Ash averted his eyes with a twinge of envy as she settled herself in his lap and let him wrap his arms around her.

After May and Drew had noticed him again, May asked, "Where's Misty?"

Ash's face clouded as he recalled the fresh memory of Misty's outburst of fury. "I... I don't know. She left. I went to tell her that I couldn't--"

"You mean that you -wouldn't- take her out." May rose to her feet, eyes blazing. "This was, what? The fourth time you've cancelled on her?"

Drew explained patiently, "The Gemstone Tournament's been here for decades, Ash. Misty won't wait forever."

"I know! I know!" The dark-haired trainer stood and paced, both May's and Drew's eyes on him. "But this--" he gestured to the mob of Pokemon and trainers: the excitement in their faces and buzzing of their voices, "--this is my dream. This is what I live for." He wheeled around with a defiant look in his eyes. "Right?" he demanded, fierce, unyielding. "I can't give this up. Ever since I first heard about Pokemon, I've been preparing for battles, contests, challenges..."

Ash trailed off as azure eyes and soft-spoken words entered his mind, a small hand in his. He shook himself rigorously from his dreams. Thinking of her would only distract him, and he needed all his concentration for the tests lying before him. Being a Pokemon Master meant continuing tirelessly toward his goal, despite all of the obstacles. He couldn't let this... this relationship get in the way. It would smooth over. Misty would forgive him, like she always did.

"Ash!" Brock, a dark-haired and dark-skinned young man several years Ash's senior, ran to the group of three and stopped, gasping for breath, his small eyes darting from one face to another. People startled by Brock's shouting soon resumed their conversations around them. Ash opened his mouth to ask Brock where he had been, but the look on Brock's face silenced his three listeners.

"Ash. Misty-- her sisters called-- she's had an accident." Brock continued, oblivious to Ash's horrified stare. "Gyarados attack, then Golduck... Amnesia. She was hit directly. She's unconscious, in the Cerulean City hospital."

"No," May whispered. Drew and Ash were silent, Ash frozen as he stood there and let the world crash down around him. Something that had smoldered inside of him from the time that Misty had left now seemed to burst into a brilliant, consuming flame, crackling and swallowing and burning.

At last he spoke hollowly. "What do they say?"

"She was in contact with the Golduck, and since she's human, she took it pretty badly. There's some chance of her waking up, but..." Brock lowered his voice. "She'll probably forget everything."

For a moment, the meaning did not register in Ash's mind. Then it hit him. Forget everything? How could-- but the Amnesia attack. She was human-- Pokemon were built to withstand these attacks. Misty was not. Ash let out a dry, brittle laugh. Then he laughed again. Forget everything. It was so funny.

"Ash. Ash! Stop it!" Brock shook his friend, who stopped laughing and began to cry. Every hidden emotion and every piece of broken frustration that had collected since the last day seemed to pour itself forward in a wave of hysteria. He sagged into a chair, sobbing for the second time in two days, spiraling into the place where even his closest friends in the world couldn't reach him.

* * *

Again, sorry for the delay. I'm letting my betas look over it, but I decided to upload it first because they're slow. Enjoy.


	4. Torn

_**Torn**_

* * *

Fans. Shouting. Sunlight. Food. Heat. Cheering. Children laughing, children crying.

Fangirls in the stands, screaming their lungs out for him. Ash watched them bitterly. What was a girl who cared only for your reputation, your looks, your skill at beating up Pokemon? It was worthless. None of his screaming fans in the stands could measure up to Misty. Why had he--

He didn't let the tears come.

Ash stepped out into the sunlight, smiling grimly. The cheering rose to a roar of aproval as the two opponents shook hands. Ash scrutinized his adversary. The boy was scrawny and seemed younger than Ash, but the defiant look in his eyes struck Ash the most. It was the same look he had worn years ago.

Then I have to beat him down, Ash thought, and keep him from claiming my title. The memory of something Misty had said an age ago-- "You won't be greatest forever, Ash"-- flickered dully for a moment. No, he told himself firmly, I have to win this. She would want me to. They all do.

He plunged into battle.

Ash seared his way through the first days of the Tournament week, aching all the time for someone who lay miles away on a clean, white bed. Brock had left, promising that he would watch Misty for Ash's sake, after the blow had come: if Ash left without three weeks' warning, he would be disqualified and have the title taken from him.

Forcibly, he dragged himself through the finals, half-awake and half-dreaming, sometimes imagining that Misty was there, cheering him on. The younger contestants he brushed aside at first, but, thinking of Misty, thought better of it and walked up to them, encouragement in his words and approval in his eyes. He resolved that when she woke up, Misty would find him changed. He didn't allow himself to ponder the "if".

At last he faced the other one who had made it into the last round, who sweated and watched Ash's moves with anxiety. Frustrated by his opponent's timid battling style, he launched his attacks with savage fury, battering the boy's defense with brute force that sent all of his Pokemon to the ground except one.

"Go, Gyarados!"

Ash watched critically as the twenty-one-foot-high monstrosity rose above him. It was in good shape; the scaly hide glimmered coldly in the early afternoon sunlight, and the eyes were bright with cruel intelligence. Ash recalled Brock's message: Misty had been felled by a creature like this one. Emotionlessly, he sent out Pikachu. The crowd, cheering with the thrill and the heat, made new bets on the outcome. The two teams remained still and ready.

Ash's opponent struck first. "Gyarados, Hydro Pump!"

The serpent sent a powerful jet of water toward the tiny yellow foot-high Pokemon. Pikachu hopped aside nimbly, and somewhere Ash heard girls cheering.

"Thunderbolt, Pikachu."

Pikachu stopped where it was and sent a sizzling bolt of electricity toward the Gyarados, whose two types of Water and Flying were especially susceptible to Electric attacks. The bolt struck head-on, leaving the blue Pokemon smoking. The commentator whooped with the crowd, jabbering excitedly into his microphone.

"--direct hit! Ketchum's putting on a real match today--"

"Dive!" Ash's opponent looked grim as he ordered his Pokemon underwater. Pikachu watched the water intently, his black-tipped ears twitching frequently. Ash whispered a single command.

"Thunder."

A lightning bolt like a rip in the azure sky streaked into the water, sending it churning as Gyarados thrashed in pain below the surface. It flung its head up, jaws wide and slavering, ready to strike at the infuriating little yellow rat that had dared to shock it.

"Bite!" the boy commanded. Gyarados needed no other encouragement. It brought its head down to dig its cruel fangs into chubby yellow flesh, but all it found was hard concrete. It roared in pain, the ear-shattering tones making the air shiver.

"--not such a good idea to send it in water, which conducts electricity, and then attacking recklessly like that--"

Contemptuously, Ash wondered why the boy had changed his battling style from conservative to all-out. True, the Gyarados was his strongest Pokemon and therefore could have more liberties taken with it, but trusting the entire match to one Pokemon was risky. Ash's Pokemon were barely tired at all, and there was no way that one Gyarados could defeat all of Ash's team single-handedly.

It seemed like the boy knew it as well, but was determined to go down with a fight. He set his jaw and said, "Hyper Beam!"

A bright, yellow beam of light shot from Gyarados' mouth, landing on the concrete where Pikachu had been standing just a moment before. The blast created a gaping hole in the ground. Dust and shards of cement showered down around Ash as he stood, oblivious to the muted roars of the crowd and the Gyarados mingling in the air. Pikachu stood by his side, panting.

"Pika-pi?" Ash?

"It can't do anything after a Hyper Beam. Volt Tackle!" he shouted.

Pikachu set off at a run, sparks running lightly over his fur, then faster and brighter until he was engulfed in a sparking, crackling surge of electricity.

"--one of Pikachu's strongest attacks. Looks like the end for Gyarados--"

Pikachu leapt over the water, his momentum carrying him toward his target. All eyes were on the yellow streak that flew through the air and--

--hit Gyarados' tail.

In a desperate attempt to block itself from the attack, the blue serpent had flung up its tail just before the Volt Tackle had made contact. Electricity surged over its body and into the water, where the small body of Pikachu fell with a splash. Gyarados roared again, weakly, its movements sluggish as it dove in the water after its foe. The crowd was hushed, and murmurs of disagreement ran through the stands.

Shadows chased each other in the depths of the pool. Ash watched with brow furrowed, holding his breath for Pikachu's resurface. Just then there was a watery, distorted growl from Gyarados, and it flung its head up with a mighty splash that drenched the first few rows of watchers, tossing Pikachu in the air, who let out a weak cry. Ash watched, powerless, as the yellow rodent went limp on the ground.

"--and Pikachu is down! Will Ash go on, or will he withdraw Pikachu?"

Now he felt the gazes of the hundreds of people in the stadium and the millions of others who sat at home, eyes glued to their television screens, breaths held for his next move. His opponent glared across the battlefield, challenging him to make Pikachu go on, taunting him. But he only thought of one who couldn't see him.

"Ash! Ash! Ash!"

The cheer swelled until the stadium was trembling with it, drowning in the sound. Ash tried to clear his mind, but he couldn't shake he hypnotizing chant from his mind.

"_**Ash**_!"

He gasped. He knew that voice.

"Don't do it! Don't let him get hurt! Don't let it happen again!"

Pikachu staggered forward, weak sparks flying from his cheeks. He looked back, waiting for a signal.

Ash looked at his Pokemon, who stood shivering in the cold gray sunlight. He hesitated, still hearing the phantom voice that screamed in his head.

"You'll kill him! Don't do this!"

With a shudder, Pikachu collapsed, and the stadium erupted into a simultaneous roar of booing. Amid the din, the commentator yelled, "Pikachu is unable to battle!"

Ash strode forward and picked up the trembling ball of warm fur, stunned, and walked to where May and Drew sat. Wordlessly, he handed Pikachu to May.


	5. Rise

**_Rise_**

* * *

Brock sat dozing by a Cerulean City hospital window. Misty lay on a bed, her red-orange hair contrasting sharply with the white sheets that rose and fell with her breathing. The afternoon sunlight fell across her face and neck, illuminating the angelic features that haunted Ash's dreams.

Brock glanced at the time. Ash should've been on his final match. Brock wondered how his friend was doing. The rookie champion was so much like a younger brother to him and had been since they first met, when Ash had challenged him to a gym battle. Misty had met him a day before.

Brock shifted and stirred into wakefulness as the beeping of the heart monitor accelerated, and he frowned at the screen, tapped it. Misty's heart rate was increasing.

At length she calmed again, and the gentle beep-- beep-- beep-- of the monitor resumed its original tempo again. _**Just a dream**_, Brock thought. _**Just a nightmare. I wonder what she dreams about if she's forgotten everything**_. He didn't allow himself to think about the "if" of her waking up. **_I wonder if she dreams about Ash. He's grown up so much in the seven years since he first met her._** "He does care about you," Brock said loudly. "He's made mistakes, but he'll learn if you forgive him. He cried when he heard that you--"

He didn't continue. He felt foolish, talking to empty air, but Misty stirred, and a frown creased her brow. Brock laughed and joked half to himself, "You do dream about Ash, don't you?"

At this, the beeping of the heart monitor increased, and Misty's breathing became gasps. Alarmed, Brock called for the nurse, who came clattering over and checked the machine worriedly.

"That's strange. There doesn't seem to be anything--"

Misty opened her eyes, and Brock stared, disbelieving. He stepped past the nurse, who was still focused on the monitor. "Misty?" Brock whispered, wide-eyed. The girl sat up and looked around in puzzlement.

"I thought... There were Pokemon... Ash..." Then she frowned. "What was I saying? Who are you?" she asked, directing the second question at Brock. She pushed the covers aside and stood up slowly, still in her hospital gown, her reddish hair mussed from sleep.

Brock had taken out his cellphone and was hurriedly dialing, even as the nurse ran out the door for the doctor. "Daisy?" he said breathlessly to Misty's eldest sister. She had stayed at the gym with the two other sisters, Lily and Violet. "You're not going to believe this."

"Then why did you call?" Daisy teased.

"No, seriously. You won't believe it." He related the news in rapture.

In the fading afternoon sunlight, two spirits rejoiced as a third stood by, still puzzled, and let the doctor check her over.


	6. Drift

**_Drift_**

Daisy was waiting for Ash at the door when he arrived. "Hey, Ash. Heard you won with your Swellow." Ash nodded. He had sent out the bird Pokemon after Pikachu had been deemed unable to battle.

Daisy kept up a constant stream of chatter, as if to fill in the spaces left by her listener. "Yeah... is Pikachu okay? That's good. Um, if you're looking for Misty, she's at the gym with Lily; they'll be back around three. We told her everything, but she still can't remember. It's kind of... bittersweet." She smiled painedly. "We got her back, but she doesn't even, like, remember us. Oh, but we didn't tell her about you, though. We think you should tell her yourself."

He nodded, head whirling. What would he say? How could you tell someone that you thought about them with every breath when they didn't even know you?

"Just go." Daisy sent him out the door with a gentle push. "Tell her." She gave him a warm smile and shut the door.

Reluctantly, Ash trudged over to the gym and stepped inside. Immediately he was hit by a wall of noise and excitement, the source of which was a throng of fans that clung to Misty like leeches.

"Have you recovered?"

"Are you going to go on as the Cerulean gym leader?"

"Wait, enough questions!" Misty laughed, giving them all a brilliant, exaggerated smile that sent an unpleasant tingle down Ash's back. It was the same smile that she had always used for people who were bothering her, and had used on him frequently. Of course, her fans didn't know that, so they continued pestering her until she herded them all out the door.

"I'm still recovering, dammit!" she laughed to herself. Then she noticed Ash, standing there with his hands in his pockets and looking embarrassed. "Oh. Hi. Are you a fan?" She laughed again, a soft bell-like sound. "I'm still getting used to being a celebrity and everything. You know, because of my memory thing. Oh, wait! You're that Ketchum guy who won the Gemstone Tournament, right?" Delight wrote itself on her face.

A hollow feeling, identical to the one he had felt when he'd heard about her accident, ached inside of him. "Yeah, I'm a fan of yours, too."

Misty smiled crookedly at him. "So why are you here? You want an autograph or something? But maybe you wouldn't, seeing as you probably sign enough of them yourself." Another laugh.

"No, no thanks. Just wanted to say hi to my favorite Sensational Sister," he said lamely.

"Oh. Okay," she replied, puzzled. Absentmindedly, she bent down and began trailing her hand in the water of the clear, still pool, her aqua-blue eyes distant. Her Horsea, the one she had raised for years, swam up and bumped her hand gently, begging her to pet it. She looked down and started in surprise, then stroked the head of a Pokemon she no longer knew. Ash turned away and stumbled out the door, unable to face the loss. Her eyes held no recognition for him, and he was afraid that they never would.

He spent the night tossing and turning in his bed at the Pokemon Center, unable to sleep, unable to face the nightmares that he knew would plague him if he slept. A script, involving his presence at the gym, played over and over in his head; a fool's errand, because why would anyone be awake in the gym in the middle of the night? He told himself fervently that he was being an idiot again, as if to stave off the inevitable, but at last he rose, carefully stepping over Pikachu and shrugging on a jacket.

He had decided that he wanted to be an idiot after all.

* * *

Okay, I'm afraid that I might have writer's block (thank you, Drifting Warrior, for passing it to me), so any suggestions for stories, anyone?


	7. Grasp

**_Grasp_**

Ash strode toward the Cerulean gym, pulling his jacket on as he went. The night air was cool and still, streetlights casting pale halos on the ground. Stores glowed with neon signs and flashing windows. A car passed by, growling low, the occupants hidden in darkness. Ash broke into a run.

Late-night shoppers, prowling the streets, flew by him. Left, right, stop, around the stray Meowth, past the restaurant on the corner. Ash recalled another time, February 14, when he had used the same route and showed up at Misty's window, wondering why he was there.

Up this way, right, dodge by the couple (a quick, wistful look backward), jump over the sleeping Houndoom, through the trash cans in the alley and then crash through the bushes behind the gym.

He knocked on the door to the gym, false hope rising and then falling in his chest when no one answered. What a nut he was. No one in their right mind would be in the gym now. Deflated, he turned away to leave.

"Oh. Hi. It's you."

Ash spun around and stared at the pale figure that hung inside the doorway. Misty blushed, slowly opening the door. "Why are you awake?" Ash blurted before he could check himself.

She looked embarrassed and then somewhat confused. "I..." she began, but stopped. "Well, why are you awake?" Wary curiosity looked out of her soft blue eyes, and a teasing smile turned up the corners of her mouth.

"I can't say." Ash cocked his head, not sure what to think of this unexpected development. His chest rose and fell with panting. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

She led him to the edge of the pool, where she sat down, staring out the skylight. The moonlight gleamed palely on her head, turning the fiery red strands of her hair silver. She didn't look as if she had been sleeping, though a thin nightgown hung from her slender frame, reaching down to her knees. Ash sat beside her, keeping a careful distance. She didn't move. A pang of fear struck his heart; there had been a time when she would have closed the distance between them and laid her head on his shoulder, letting him move his arm securely around her waist. Had that girl completely gone?

The silence, filled with haunting echoes, was oppressive. Ash fidgeted, occasionally glancing sideways at Misty, who seemed content to simply dip her bare feet in the pool and stare endlessly out the skylight, as if searching for the answers to her questions in the stars. Outside, a car rushed by, its ghost light shining briefly on the ceiling.

"Why are you awake?" he asked at last. His voice echoed eerily in the gym. Misty shrugged and focused once again on the darkened space that lay before her, water lapping around her ankles. "I don't really know. I just can't sleep. Sometimes I'm afraid that there's something that I need to know, and I can't remember it. What if my sisters didn't tell me everything? They're my sisters, but I don't even know them anymore. I'm afraid that I couldn't be the same Misty that my fans had known. I just... I feel like I'm missing something. There's something important that I forgot, but I can't remember." Her face clouded as she continued. "There's something I have to know. It hurts me every time I think about it."

Misty stared at him in alarm as he struggled to keep the tears from forming. "Are you okay? I shouldn't be telling you this. I'm sorry; I just got carried away." A worried look came over her, and she reached for him.

"No." Ash shook his head, determined to keep his head above dark waters. "It's nothing." He pulled away from her steadying hand. "Nothing."

"It can't be." Her azure eyes seemed to be the only thing he could focus on, his anchor in the swirling storm. "It can't be nothing. Tell me."

Ash began hesitantly, trying to determine what to tell this remnant of the girl he had known. "I've lost someone. She's still alive, but I'm dead to her now. She means everything to me, but I just can't tell her." His voice cracked, and he paused with Misty's gaze urging him on. "I don't know if she'll ever acknowledge me again, but she couldn't have the same feelings for me. And then I had to be an idiot and make those stupid mistakes." He took a breath, held it, sighed and buried his hands in his jagged black hair.

Misty watched him curiously, eyes moist. "I hope she will. I think... I think she knows."

"Thank you." He stood up abruptly, cutting off conversation. There was a faint, almost invisible look in her eyes like recognition, but he shook away the illusion. He had already told her about himself. She knew about him now; so what? He'd been warned, but like the idiot he was doomed to be, he tried anyways. As usual, he thought of it as a Pokemon battle, where sheer will and intense training always reaped results. Now he saw how wrong he was.

Bitterly, he wrenched open the gym door, and the night's fingers of cold air streamed in. He looked back one last time at the girl who sat at the edge of the pool, but she wasn't there anymore. Misty stood by his side, her small hands clutching his. For a moment he wondered why she was doing this, why her eyes were suddenly filled with broken memories and tears.

"I remember, Ash," she said, voice trembling. He started at her words, the sweetness of hearing his name pass her lips dulled by the realization that she must be acting for his sake. Her lying sisters must have told her about him. He took his hand away, but she grasped it again. "I knew my sisters weren't telling me something, but this--" She gulped and her eyes were lowered to his hand. "How could I ever forget you?" she whispered desperately, as he tried pulling away from her very convincing act one more time. "Don't go. I mean it. I remember," she cried out, breathless, eyes wide. "You went to the Tournaments even though you promised me that you would take me on a date. I drove here, and then..." She stopped.

"Your sisters could've told you that," he said incredulously.

"When we met," she said firmly, "I pulled you and Pikachu out of that river. You stole my bike because those Spearows were chasing you. And when you wrecked my bike, I said I would follow you until you paid me back." Almost shyly, she continued, "After a while, it wasn't even the real reason I stayed with you anymore. I don't think we knew it then, not even when I got jealous about that girl at the Silver Tournament who kept clinging to you. Not even when May and Dawn traveled with you instead of me. I shouldn't have worried, though," she added with a smile. "After all those years, we just fell naturally into our roles. You'd hold my hand when no one was looking, and little by little, it just sort of grew."

"They could have told you," Ash said dumbly.

"I saved Pikachu when he was fighting that Gyarados." Ash's eyes widened in disbelief as she went on. "I told you not to go on. Only we know about that, Ash. Don't fool yourself like you always do." Then her eyes shone. "Ash, I remember it all. You can't imagine what it's like to not know anything about yourself. I didn't know anything when I woke up and saw Brock staring at me like I was some ghost. I felt so empty, like someone had drained all the water out of me. Please, please believe me," she pleaded with him.

Ash looked into her eyes, really looked into them, and he saw once again the girl whom he had fallen in love with a lifetime ago. All of the memories they had created together, every touch and look, shone out of her clear blue eyes. He knew at once that there was no room for words, so he simply leaned forward and kissed her gently.

"It's been too long, hasn't it," Misty sighed after they broke apart. "We just wouldn't admit that... that..."

"What?"

"You know," she murmured, leaning against him in the way that somehow made his heart beat twice as fast as usual. "You say it first."

Ash's mouth turned up with a smile as he accepted the challenge. He laughed softly in her ear, teasingly, and felt her face blush beneath his fingers. "Okay," he whispered, his words lowered until they were softer than heartbeats.

"I love you."

* * *

w00t omg the last chapter!! I can't believe it; I finished a story with more than one chapter! This is amazing. I should hold a party celebrating my accomplishment.

Just kidding, of course. But I would've liked to invite all of my devoted readers to a party (if I was sure that none of you are STALKERS or anything like that, of course).

Oh, and can anyone guess what "blue feathers" signify? If you do, I'll email you part of my next story!


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